We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Randomize
