White coat. Heels.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
