Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize