Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
