Pappa wants mamma naked
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
