someone get that fucking seahorse.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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