there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
