that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
