i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
