OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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