Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I pour the whiskey from now on
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
