The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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