Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
