they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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