i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
