i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
