Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
