That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
