I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
