its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
