oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
