I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It's like God shit irony all over that family
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
