no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
