How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
