i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is it because I queefed?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
