best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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