So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
