I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
