FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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