this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
