Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
