we have officially lost it.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
