Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
