You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You're a waste of cheezeits
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
