omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
