was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm like, not good at living.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize