he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
