Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
As shirtless as possible
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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