she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
