if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
ok first of all what the fuck
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
