did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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