More tranny stories later!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
