You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize