we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You pole danced in your parka.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
