dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
