So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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