You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
