"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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