He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i was born a porn star she said
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
