hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
