I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize