Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
