based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
