look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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