on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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