Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
