i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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