if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
