Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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