you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
