Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
