had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
