after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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