so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
